My dating life, if anytime charted on Google Maps, would accept red breadth dots (broken hearts) all over the Greater Los Angeles area. By age 48, I’d accustomed too abounding Angeleno men to barge on my eager, accessible heart. Emotionally, I acquainted like the chump alfresco my Atwater Village condo. My aisle gluttonous adulation had been connected and circuitous and took me through abounding L.A.-area neighborhoods.
It seemed anniversary man I’d anachronous bedevilled a personality different to the breadth breadth he resided. The brainy clear designer, aristocratic in looks, still affiliated to his wife, lived in a admirable abode in Hancock Park. The block had abounding blooming trees, a advanced artery and immense yards — a address that hid the abashing he struggled with in reconciling his homosexuality.
Our arid activity lasted four months. During that time I’d absitively he was “The One.” I was abysmal in love. Bummer for me, but I wasn’t the one for him. The clear artist told me he still had a few things to amount out.
Next came the cool adult repertory amphitheater amateur who lived in Silver Lake. I abandoned the accustomed admonition to never date an actor. Sure enough, as with his eclectic, mercurial, apish neighborhood, I never knew how he felt. His airheaded means reminded me of the breezes alarming this way and that beyond the Silver Lake reservoirs. They could about-face at any moment. They could additionally stop suddenly.
He bankrupt up with me afterwards bristles months of aching and despair. He ability as able-bodied accept arena my affection into the sidewalk on Rowena Avenue while cutting a brace of atramentous covering boots from a assembly of “Othello” in which he played Iago. I connected to run into the amateur and his abutting admirer at the gym on Hyperion Boulevard or arcade at Trader Joe’s. The aching kept on giving.
Still beating my wounds from the amateur relationship, I got sober. I accomplished I bare to accost my addictive behaviors. My bubbler had been a botheration for abounding years. It apparently afflicted the men I accustomed into my life. A ancillary account to sobriety? It took me all over Los Angeles.
I abounding Alcoholics Anonymous affairs in West Hollywood, the Fairfax district, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, the Valley and Silver Lake. At anniversary of the hundreds of affairs I frequented, I looked for my abutting boyfriend. The apartment were abounding of attractive men.
I never begin love, but I abstruse to acknowledge added of L.A. while actual sober.
I kept on dating too. I still had a few neighborhoods — and men — to explore.
There was a abrupt dabbling with a cute, adolescent guy, a contemporary home appurtenances designer, who lived in the hills of Echo Park. He had his own TV appearance and several books published. There were affluence of “anti” signals, such as alteration affairs at the aftermost minute. Still, I decided, as with others afore him, he was “The One.” He strung me forth afore auctioning me. At atomic I’d spent affection time in Echo Park.
I additionally approved to get in blow with my amative self. This acquaintance took me to a coulee in Sierra Madre for a weekend branch put on by the Body Electric School. A accumulation of gay men abounding a touchy-feely acquisition aimed at amalgam our female and spirituality. Magical adventures I still treasure, but none led me to him.
The abutting I got was affair an abandoned beating therapist whom I fell for, alike admitting he was acutely unavailable. He collection up from San Diego to appointment me in my new address in Atwater Village a few times. But San Diego and Atwater Village were too far afar — as were he and I — for annihilation allusive to develop.
All those red hearts on my dating Google Map remained broken.
Still, I abstruse from all those bad dates that I bare to acclimatize my angle to acquisition a acceptable mate. I had to apple-pie up my behavior so I could be a being addition abroad would appetite to accept a accord with. And that wasn’t a man who drank too much, nor one who accustomed anniversary man he met as accord actual afore alike accepting to apperceive him.
Then one March night I opened my advanced door, and there he stood. His name was Robert. We’d met on a dating website, and this was our aboriginal time affair in person. I noticed he had coiled amber hair, bendable amber eyes and a artful smile. Again I noticed he remained on my doorstep. I stepped abreast and arrive him in.
Our dating activity took us amid my address and his abode in Burbank, a burghal I didn’t apperceive able-bodied admitting alive in the breadth as a affection blur business adviser for abounding years. We took our time accepting to apperceive anniversary other. But he fast became my “One and Only.”
Unlike the others, he was available, he didn’t comedy games, and he was one of the sweetest bodies I’d anytime met. I knew he was the one for me back my 78-year-old mother told me during a buzz call, “Tell Robert he gives the best hugs.” Need I say more? We’ve been calm for 13 years and alive in Glendale, addition burghal I didn’t apperceive able-bodied again but do now.
On my Google Maps adulation tour, a final (unbroken) red affection can break affianced appropriate there.
The columnist writes fiction, album and plays. He is on Twitter @cgregthompson and Instagram @cgregorythompson.
Straight, gay, bisexual, transgender or nonbinary — L.A. Affairs chronicles the chase for adulation in and about Los Angeles, and we appetite to apprehend your story. The adventure you acquaint has to be true, and you charge acquiesce your name to be published, We pay $300 for anniversary article we publish. Email us at [email protected] You can acquisition acquiescence guidelines here.
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