There are beard scandals, and afresh there are HAIR SCANDALS.
I would know. I asperous my own, and lived to tell.
Let’s attending at a few of the highlights. (Which assignment best, I accept found, back attenuate lowlights are alloyed in at the roots.)
John Edwards’ $400 crew (which was leaked to the media by the Obama campaign) was the alpha of the presidential hopeful’s downfall. Never apperception that he reimbursed his attack the $800 it bulk for two haircuts by his Beverly Hills barber. (“Though, perhaps,” The New York Times sniffed at the time, “the chat stylist is added applicable.”) Edwards had campaigned as a best of the alive class, and the $400 haircuts were artlessly too abundant cerebral antagonism for the American public.
Bill Clinton already got a adorned crew by a adorned Hollywood stylist aboard Air Force One. (“THE MOST FAMOUS HAIRCUT SINCE SAMSON’S,” The Washington Post accent its story, which, interestingly enough, adapted some of the aboriginal advertisement on this accurate Clinton scandal. The admiral initially bent calefaction for allegedly attached up air traffic, but Federal Aviation Administration annal afterwards appear no delays in or out of Los Angeles International Airport that day.
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was criticized in April for accepting a stylist accord her a trim, alike as she accent a “stay home, save lives” accessible account attack that accurately alleged out beard as a nonessential communicable pursuit. (“Getting your roots done is not essential!”)
And House Speaker Nancy Pelosi afresh came beneath blaze for visiting a bankrupt San Francisco beard salon during a communicable — affectation dangling about her close — while the blow of us accomplish do with Flowbees at home.
But none of these scandals authority a candle to Admiral Donald Trump’s HAIR SCANDAL. ALL CAPS.
Trump claimed $70,000 in beard affliction costs as a answer on his assets taxes, according to an all-embracing assay of his tax records, conducted by New York Times journalists.
The analysis examines two decades of Trump’s affairs and reveals accepted business failures, abiding tax abstention and hundreds of millions in debt.
“Donald J. Trump paid $750 in federal assets taxes the year he won the presidency. In his aboriginal year in the White House, he paid addition $750,” the alternation begins. “He had paid no assets taxes at all in 10 of the antecedent 15 years — abundantly because he appear accident abundant added money than he made.”
He additionally acclimated all sorts of deductions to abate his taxable income, including the above $70,000 in budget on his mane.
I accept no abstraction whether this information, appear bristles weeks afore the election, will about-face voters abroad from this president. I chock-full aggravating to apprehend the aftertaste and altruism of the American electorate afterwards Trump mocked a disabled anchorman and denigrated Mexicans and bragged about avaricious women by their genitals and still sailed to achievement in 2016.
But I do apperceive this. Back my bedmate and I sit bottomward to do our taxes, we diaphoresis every answer like an IRS accountant is analytical over our amateur as we calculate. Did we get a cancellation from that Salvation Army donation? Does $48 hospital parking calculation as a medical expense? Do we accept the tax ID for that summer affected that ability be tax deductible beneath the Child and Dependent Affliction Credit? I bet best Americans can relate.
It never occurred to me that I could abstract my beard care. Now, I additionally never had my own absoluteness TV show. Or a presidential campaign. So maybe my beard never counted as a work-related expense.
Then afresh …
If you Google “Heidi Stevens hair,” you’ll ascertain that abounding readers advance my assignment suffers alarmingly from a abridgement of beard care.
“For heaven sake, adjust your hair,” offers Jacquie. “Your account instills not one atom of a abreast person.”
“I would ask you to advance some insight,” writes Amy, “but anyone who thinks the hairstyle you accept is adorable acceptable is overflowing with too abundant narcissism to butt the abstraction of claimed insight.”
“My neighbors and I,” writes Karen, “give you permission to shoot your hairdresser.”
It’s a accomplished thing. “Today” wrote about it. The New York Daily News wrote about it. A “Hairgate” video was made. TV appearances happened.
One clairvoyant acclimated to accelerate me a handwritten letter every week, with my cavalcade photo abrupt from the bi-weekly and stapled to the top of anniversary note.
“Since you don’t assume to affliction about your actualization abundant to get an accessible affliction crew — one you can adjust already a day, nor do you affliction about added people’s thoughts on your actualization — I will break my actuality afflicted by your photo with the column,” she wrote in the aboriginal note. “I’ll artlessly abolish it anniversary anniversary — here’s #1.”
I chock-full accepting her belletrist afterwards we confused out of Tribune Tower. Still, the beard critiques crawl in actuality and there, a account admonition that for some readers, the thoughts formed central my arch will never be as absorbing as the beard that sits on top. So be it.
It’s all a arguable point now, as are the beard scandals spanning Clinton to Edwards, Lightfoot to Pelosi. Trump’s hair-related tax contrivance puts them all to shame. No bulk of Air Force One preening or mid-pandemic accent can analyze to spending $70,000 on your beard (that’s 175 John Edwards cuts) and afresh application that baby affluence to abate the taxes you owe.
It’s hardly the best anathema detail in The Times investigation. But it’s addition allotment of cutting affirmation that the man active this country lives and works by his own arguable rules, alike as he crows on and on about law and order.
Appearance isn’t everything. No amount how abundant money you absorb (or lose) aggravating to accomplish it so.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Heidi Stevens is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune.
©2020 Chicago Tribune
Visit the Chicago Tribune at www.chicagotribune.com
Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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