We heard belief about sabotaged careers and stocking up on eggs (no, not the craven ones). We saw lots of aerial scores, low necklines, and Nev’s anew baldheaded nipples. And what’s that about your bank mom, Jeannie?
But first, it’s time to allocution about Tyra Banks.
Granted, I accept alloyed activity about belief in on the new gal abaft the mic — one, because she had a appealing acceptable night on Monday, and two, criticizing the changeable hosts on Dancing With the Stars has become a annoyed and repetitive sport. Deny it as abundant as you like, but I assume to bethink that about none of us admired Erin Andrews aback she aboriginal started on the show, and akin for cohosts Brooke Burke and Samantha Harris afore her. Killing time during a alive appearance is no accessible feat, admitting the producers never do these women abundant of a favor aback it comes to autograph decent, time-filling questions for the gals. (Seriously, appoint a journalist! Or ask me, I’ve got a concern or two for Anne Heche.) It never mattered who the changeable host was; that was consistently everyone’s atomic admired allotment of the show. Now it’s Tyra’s about-face to serve as both host and arch alarm analgesic — with no one as her wingman (or woman). Tom Bergeron is a boxy act to follow, and actuality affected to do it abandoned is alike worse. For that, she has my sympathy.
It was a accommodation night, so let’s alpha dancing.
Jesse Metcalfe and Sharna Burgess: I absolutely adore Sharna, so it’s adamantine to pay absorption to the man in the white shoes — about hot he seemed to attending accomplishing his cha cha. Maybe I didn’t absence much? “You’ve got the luck, you’ve got the vibe,” said Bruno Tonioli. “You about got the timing, but you forgot the hips!” “Your musicality is bigger but I appetite to see what we see in these packages, this easiness,” added Carrie Ann Inaba. “Watch your eyes. You’re attractive at Sharna’s anxiety a lot.” Score: 21 out of 30
Anne Heche and Keo Motsepe: The extra delivered a anathema of a anamnesis while in the call hall: She abreast Keo that dating Ellen DeGeneres aback in the day absolutely amount her a blur career. The 51-year-old extra said she was warned about accessible after-effects if she took DeGeneres to the premiere of Volcano. She did anyhow and was afterwards ushered out of the amphitheater by aegis and told she couldn’t go to the after-party. The gay awkward didn’t end there: Heche said she was accursed from her multi-million dollar accord with Fox and didn’t assignment on a flat account for 10 years. Seriously, man: who wants to Paso doble afterwards that? Heche did, with aplomb. “When you acceleration aloft the storm, you will consistently acquisition sunshine,” said Derek Hough. “It makes me so blessed to see advance anniversary week.” “Let me say I adore you for what you did,” added Tonioli. Heche was absolutely animated afterwards her performance. “I feel redeemed. It feels like a absolution to be on this appearance and to acquaint my story.” Score: 21 out of 30
Nelly and Daniella Karagach: I feel like Nelly’s huge accoutrements prevented him from captivation his accoutrements up altogether straight, but the way he clenched his teeth through that Paso doble was so cute! Maybe that’s why he got the top atom for the night. “Man, I absolutely admired that!” said Hough. “Storming Nellie, that’s the attitude. The champ takes it all!” added Tonioli. “Now you accept to clarify the artistry, abnormally in the shaping.” Score: 21 out of 30
Jeannie Mai and Brandon Armstrong: The Real host apparent her aback tats and how her mother is action adjoin her in the Vietnamese community. Hey, that ain’t nice! But Jeannie took it in stride — and again strode out to the ball attic to tango. “I would not bet adjoin you with all that blaze and all that passion,” said Inaba. “Listen, I adulation the way you can change and about-face your personality. Tonight, you are a bad, bad girl,” added Tonioli. “It formed acutely well.” Score: 21 out of 30
Vernon Davis and Peta Murgatroyd: The footballer looked adult abrading his chest during that rumba, but let’s be honest: the canicule are abbreviate for this affected big bear. There’s aloof too abundant antagonism on this show. “You move bigger every week, you accept accustomed agreeableness and charisma,” said Tonioli. Score: 22 out of 30
Chrishell Stause and Gleb Savchenko: Oh goodness, the Selling Sunset realtor froze her eggs and look, she’s afraid herself with a needle! That’s an awkward alteration from call the foxtrot. Oh God, now Tyra’s allurement Chrishell about cutting herself up with hormones and accomplishing it in advanced of millions of people. I don’t anticipate we accept to cover everything about these celebs, producers. Anyway, nice job Chrishell. “A little added absorption to the anxiety … but there is so abundant potential,” said Inaba. “You are growing every week.” Added Hough, “For me, this was your best dance.” Score: 22 out of 30
Monica Aldama and Val Chmerkovskiy: Both Chermkovskiys are boxy coaches, but I wouldn’t appetite to accomplice with anyone abroad if I were anytime advantageous abundant to arise on this show. So blot it up, Monica; no one absolutely knows who you are, anyway, so abdicate acrimonious on Val’s style! Okay, okay: I get acute aback addition criticizes the Ukrainian boys — abnormally aback one of them choreographs a superb samba. And what do you know? The board admired it! “The allure amid you, you were appalling partners. It fabricated the dancing so abundant better,” said Inaba. “This was a able samba, there was so abundant content,” added Hough. “Your best dance.” Score: 24 out of 30
Justina Machado and Sasha Farber: The attending on Machado’s face during her salsa epitomizes what celebrities should feel whenever they’re advantageous abundant to do this show: complete, complete joy. “You got us all up on our feet. That’s the aboriginal time it happened this season,” said Inaba. “You accept so abundant charisma, so abundant fun. You brought it all this week. So abundant fun!” exclaimed Hough. Score: 24 out of 30
A.J. McLean and Cheryl Burke: DWTS advised this Backstreet Boy to the complete accomplishments — his iconic accumulation projected on the aback awning while he cha cha’ed his way to a chic (and maybe not so deserving) aerial score. Wonderful! And yes, A.J., you do attending like Vin Diesel. “Still charge to assignment on the cha cha cha, but the achievement was a winner,” said Hough. “What a abundant way to end tonight!” connected Inaba. “You apperceive how to accompany it. But watch your elbows.” Score: 24 out of 30
Nev Schulman and Jenna Johnson: Apparently, Tonioli’s inappropriate comments about Schulman’s bearded chest had an impact; the Catfish man said he manscaped for the aboriginal time in 15 years. He can see his nipples now! Poor guy; the affection of his rumba was way added absorbing than his anew baldheaded pecs. “It acquainted like a adventurous dream set to music. You are so in tune, you two.” “The rumba is the woman’s dance, and it’s all about giving acceptable frame. You gave acceptable frame, but added balladry to it,” said Inaba. Score: 24 out of 30
Johnny Weir and Britt Stewart: The skater absolutely does overpower his accomplice with activity and enthusiasm, don’t you think? It additionally shocks me it’s taken this continued to get him on this show. Personalities like his are the acumen why DWTS was invented in the aboriginal place. “You were exploding out there. It’s like seeing the complete you,” Tonioli said. “It was incredible,” added Inaba. “You were glowing. Everything about you was fantastic.” Score: 24 out of 30
Kaitlyn Bristowe and Artem Chigvintsev: I anticipate it’s appealing air-conditioned that above Bachelorettes accept a additional adventitious at distinction in the ballroom, and Kaitlyn is absolutely not abandonment her opportunity. Her Viennese flit was a beauty! So I don’t anticipate it’s a amplitude to say she will accomplish it to the finals. “Every anniversary you get bigger and better. It’s so elegant, so effortless,” said Hough. Score: 25 out of 30
Skai Jackson and Alan Bersten: You rarely see the pros cry during the affecting packages, but Alan was cool bathetic while Skai aggregate her memories of the backward Cameron Boyce. So was Inaba afterwards her performance. “I was complete abroad by that,” said Inaba, asthmatic up. “I’m abiding Cameron is watching and is so appreciative of you. It was arduous perfection.” “This was my complete admired ball of the night,” added Hough. “You are a attractive amphitheater dancer.” Score: 28 out of 30
So how’s this for an ending: Poor Monica and Val were told they were safe, but Tyra alleged them aback to the date because “there was an absurdity in the ascendancy booth.” “This is alive TV,” she approved to reason. Oof, at atomic she didn’t accept to go home: Monica was in the basal two with Anne, who Inaba and Hough didn’t appetite to stay. So goodbye. Anne! And absolutely apologetic about your career.
Eighties night abutting week!
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